In one of those responses someone brought up the issue that many segments of our society have been marginalized. In a reply I stated my opinion that many marginalized people have in fact marginalized themselves by their actions and choices. My “self-marginalization” comments were general in nature, not specifically regarding any particular group, but I got some push back re: homosexual choices. At this point we were instructed to “take it to the political forum”.

So here we are. We all make choices in our lives, each and every day. Some are simple things like what shirt to wear, where to look for a vacation spot, and what kind of car to drive. These are types of choices we make that have not too much real significance in the greater scheme of things, and generally don’t “define” us. Sometimes our choices are based upon our life experiences, and sometimes our life experiences come from choices we’ve made.

A person decides whom to vote for. As the man said, elections (choices) have consequences. A person decides to use drugs, or not to use drugs. A person chooses whether to obey the law, or not to obey the law. A choice is made to have children, or not to have children, and if the choice is to have children, then the parent chooses to either have those children with their spouse, or with a series of partners that come in and out of their life. Next is the decision to see that this child gets to school each and every day, or simply to turn them loose and let them fend for themselves and get their education on the street. People may choose to protest peacefully, or to burn buildings and police cars to the ground. These are also choices that some people make each day, but these choices have a long term impact beyond what color shirt to wear.

Say a criminal (having made the decision to be a criminal) breaks into my home and steals valuable property that I bought and paid for with my honest labor. He is caught and arrested by the police. He goes to court and is convicted and sentenced, and then delivered to prison. During this whole process I am accused of “white privilege”, the cop is charged with bigotry, the judicial system is said to be racially biased and the penal system is charged with being systemically unfair. Investigations are launched to see if racism exists. Meanwhile the bum who broke into my home is said to be the victim and released on some liberal amnesty program. I, for one, am getting sick and tired of this nonsense!

And then comes the marginalization discussion:

If you decide to spike your hair and paint it purple, put holes in your earlobes the size of nickels, put piercings through your lips and nose and cover your entire body with tattoos, than you have made a conscious decision to be different. Perhaps you are making some sort of statement, which of course you have every right to make. I have not and am not saying that there is any right or wrong, anything moral or immoral in any of your choices. It doesn’t bother me one way or the other and I’ll be friendly and polite to you regardless. But you’ve got to know that people generally don’t choose to adorn themselves this way. You seem to want to make a point of being different but then object if someone treats you differently. By choosing to present yourself to the world in this manner you appear to be auditioning for street gang membership. It is unlikely that you’ll be awarded a scholarship at the John’s Hopkins School of Medicine or be offered a seat on the board of AT&T. You have marginalized yourself. If you are looking to succeed in life you’ve probably made a few bad choices. I am getting tired of paying for other people’s mistakes.

Let’s say that at some point in their life, a person makes the decision to try eating squid. Perhaps someone has suggested squid to them, or perhaps the choice to try squid just came from natural curiosity. Having tried it, one of two outcomes is likely: the person likes squid and will probably order squid again in the future, or the person doesn’t like squid and will probably not choose squid again. There is no natural human instinct to eat or not to eat squid. Your future choice in this matter will be based on your experience with squid. Whether or not you continue to eat squid will probably not have any significant impact on the rest of your life. But the obvious analogy here to an alternative lifestyle will define you, like it or not, fair or unfair. It is your choice, and there is no right or wrong in this, but your life is framed by your choices. Don’t blame others for feeling differently than you do. Life is not about “finding yourself”. It is about “making yourself”.

Have a nice day!